free movie anyone?

i have tickets that expire "nov 2004" and i gotta use them up.

contact me if you want to use me for my entertainment value.

there's a new zhang yimou movie out... house of flying daggers.






the question is: should i buy the dvd in chinatown or wait for the theatrical release?

the mickey-d's in my neighborhood sells ice cream cone's for a quarter (plus tax it's 27 cents). these are full-size cones... not some mini kid's size version.



out of curiousity i flipped back to look at some old blog entries... it seems like i go through the same kinds of struggles, over and over again... there's an entry from october of last year that i think is exactly how i'm feeling now. am i in a vicious cycle? is there an escape?



"into marvelous light i'm running, out of darkness out of shame... by the cross you are the way, you are the truth, you are the life..." (charlie hall)

i'm angry but i don't know why... i feel like a teenage girl.



life is unfair... i've acknowledged the fact many times. and there are few things you can do about it. you grin and bear it. you say a prayer and try not to let the truth make you go crazy. or maybe in the grand scheme of things, life IS fair, it's just hard for us to see the bigger picture. but not being able to see the bigger picture is frustrating too. it's a lose-lose kind of thing.



how do teenage girls deal with this stuff? maybe the snickers bar in my drawer will help.

when you have a girlfriend, you don't really need a blog...



when you have mental anguish that you would normally publish to the world, you can just tell her... when you see some funny looking person on the way to work, you just share it with her... when you feel sublime/ depressed/ apathetic/ angry/ frustrated/ bored/ nostalgic/ romantic/ gassy, you have a captive audience of one. UNLESS, your girlfriend is busy...



let's move on to what i really want to talk about:



in high school, i thought leadership was just about being popular, applying a little elbow grease and gaining something to put on your colllege applications. in college, i thought leadership was about looking at the big picture, filling in the holes and doing your best. now it seems that leadership is about psychoanalyzing people, predicting their every move and letting them stomp all over you, yet still somehow convince them that where you're going is the place to be. have i grown cynical? just a little.



i'm not talking about my relationship to miss roboto. i'm relatively secure there.



but church... ahh... insanity around every corner.

i "grew up" in church, yet inherently lack the ability to effectively communicate with other people there. am i hard to understand? do i give mixed signals? i try my best to care for people... my intention is to do the "right thing"...



agh. i don't know.

i just want to sit back in my chair and doodle on my napkin.

i can't think like this...

i'm alive.



i moved to a new apartment. i have a living room now. very exciting.

the problem is that my living room dwarfs my tv... i may have to upgrade.

oh wait-- no money.



i'm going to have to start selling off all my cds and books that just collect dust and take up space. anyone want to buy cds from me? i have thousands. i'm sure i have something you'd like. as far as books, i have art books, cook books, reference books... lots of heavy books.



once i get internet access at home, they're all going on half.com or craigslist.



i'm sleepy. work is slow today.

humidity sucks.

i wish i had a pool to jump into. i wish i could skip work to frolick in my imaginary pool... i'd have my girlfriend fly in my imaginary helicoptor and land on my imaginary helipad on top of my imaginary penthouse. then my imaginary chef would cook up the most delicious and unbelievably healthy meal ever.



OR i could just move to the west coast.



i can only imagine...

so i got the MAXIMUM raise allowable by my company for my level.

don't get excited.

it's a whopping 3.5%.



in case you weren't on the math team like me, 3.5% of nothing is nothing. i get paid peanuts.

i wonder the best, most balanced job out there is... one that pays decently, but is still interesting/creative/somewhat enjoyable...



gah.

maybe i'll give up the whole enjoyable part and just try to make as much money as humanly possible.

i know money isn't everything... but neither is fun-ness of your job, right?



the cynicism is creeping in...

yesterday was my 1-year aniversary at work. time flies.

i think i'm supposed to get a bonus or something.

the upcoming holiday weekend is too far away, i need a FF button to skip through today and tomorrow. i'll have jeannie fold her arms and blink hard... maybe something will happen.

i spent 3 days in western WA last weekend and learned a few things:

1) i get violently sea sick

1.5) beef jerky is good on the way down, but really nasty in reverse

2) my parents may never stop nagging me

3) i have a sister-in-law

the soda bottle i bought says i can enter to win a billion dollars.

a billion dollars would be so nice.

sigh.

it's been a while. when the weather gets warmer, i start to get busy... dunno why there's a correlation.

if i had time this week, i'd check out this sweet FREE film series. all three films look good. especially garden state. but alas, i have small group, a work event and band practice on those nights.

i'm fat.

something must be done.

went to the biennial exhibition at the whitney today. playing hookie is always fun... but it's especially exciting when your boss approves/pays and when you get to look at some of the most important works of the last couple years. makes me think i should get off of my butt and start art-ing for myself.

my weekend in boston included:

- my first ride on the chinatown bus

- watching super size me and subsequently vowing to never eat fast food ever again

- staying up late watching subpar tv movies

- doing alot of shopping, but only a little buying (everything was too expensive)

- consuming massive amounts of meat (beef, pork and chicken) at red bones

- playing a little tennis

- finding out that the chinatown buses back to new york have been sold out through most of the night, instead deciding to take greyhound/peter pan (costing 50% more), getting yelled at and lectured by the bus driver for talking on my cell phone and wondering if this guy was intentionally trying to kill us with his weird short-cuts and reckless driving.



it was an exciting time.

unforgettable, even.

i need more weekends like this.

what it is about dangling skin that makes me want to pull it?

i had a big hangnail that i couldn't leave alone. now my cuticles are all messed up.



i'm going to boston this weekend. i'm not a big fan of that city, but it's good to get away from this city every once in a while.

i got a spiffy new haircut yesterday... it was a spur of the moment sort of thing... it's pretty short... and i have a little bang thingie...

today's comments from co-workers have included "i like...", "it works", and "adorable".

so far, no "sexy" or "hot"...

my suspicion is that all of my associates want to call it "sexy", but they're afraid of a sexual harrassment accusation. either way, i can live with "adorable"...



the weather forecast for the entire weekend was completely wrong. there was no rain, there was extreme cold and then humid heat... all totally unpredicted by the local, so-called meteorologist. the weather on the west coast is just so much more predictable (and pleasant).

i got a gmail account.

i'm cool.



i had a pastrami sandwich for lunch.

i'm cool.



...



that's the extent of my coolness.

happy asian pacific american heritage month!

go hug an asian (pacific american).



i was pretty active in the whole APA social/political activism scene a few years ago. and though i still care about the issues, i somehow find myself off the playing field and on the sidelines, spectating.



it's 11:40am and my stomach is audibly growling.

to do this summer:

- play massive amounts of tennis

- improve my serve, work on my consistency

- learn to skateboard (without shedding too much blood)

- go to the beach alot

- get a nice, un-farmer-esque tan

- make at least one short film

- compose/record at least one song

- consistently keep my room clean/organized

- sell off some books/cds that i don't ever plan to ingest

- take lots of pictures

- lose 10 lbs, gain six-pack

- figure out what i want to do with my life

- figure out what god wants me to do with my life

- make sure they match

i want to live by myself. i want my own bathroom... my own kitchen... my own living space. it's not that i have anything against sharing... i just don't like the concept of "shared responsibility".

and, okay, well, maybe i am against sharing too.



i've never lived by myself. i think decorating, furnishing, cooking... even cleaning would be more fun if i the whole place was mine. the problem is apartments are too expensive in this area. maybe i should start praying for a large, cheap, rent-controlled apartment in the village.

ugh.

i feel gross.

why do i keep getting the corndogs and onion rings from my cafeteria?

is it normal to get a headache after eating lunch?

is there such a thing as grease poisoning?

i'm very inquisitive today.

back to work.

i saw spring, summer, fall, winter and... spring the other night. i liked it alot, but it's not for the attention-deficient.



the night weather in new york is so nice right now. i wish there was a way i could walk from lower manhattan to jersey. i would've done it the last couple of nights.



nyc is quite nice late at night. the sidewalks aren't congested. the cars don't honk. it doesn't smell as bad. but it's still dirty. i wonder if new york will ever be clean.

i think i say "thank you" too much.

it's not that i'm chronically polite... or that my heart is overflowing with gratitude. that phrase has just become a natrual reflex that follows any kind of interaction with my co-workers. sometimes, i'm doing a favor for one of my co-workers... but as i leave their office, i'll say something like... "no problem, i'll get those to you when i get a chance, thanks." they should be thanking me... but for some reason the phrase just dribbles out of my mouth.



i like to mean what i say. i have to stop fake-thanking people.



i walked outside my office without my jacket today. which means spring is near. i hope i don't sneeze my eyeballs out this year.

passion.

Etymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer.

1 often capitalized a : the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death b : an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion

2 obsolete : SUFFERING

3 : the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces

4 a (1) : EMOTION (2) plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c : an outbreak of anger

5 a : ardent affection : LOVE b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c : sexual desire d : an object of desire or deep interest

-- www.m-w.com

charlie hall, chris tomlin and david crowder were in town last night. i had a chance to see them from row e. here's a pic from mr. ko:



i need to get a turntablist for my band.

okay, so maybe i'm addicted to diet cola... but it makes me happy.



in my work neighborhood, a 20oz bottle costs about $1.35. ($1.35 in the vending machine on the 8th floor, $1.40 at my building's cafeteria, $1.35 at the nearest deli down the street).



i decided to buy a couple 2-liter bottles from the drug store around the corner (for 89 cents each with a discount "club card") and keep them under my desk here at work. i'd totally forgotten about them, until i was craving for it for the last hour or so. then i remembered and literally jumped out of my seat to get a cup of ice (free at the pantry on my floor).



this totally makes my hour.



the end.

i don't pray enough. i don't know why. the words just don't come out. my mind wanders. i get frustrated and it takes me a while to re-attempt.



i wonder if some great tragedy is neccessary to pull me down to my knees. if the knobs on my soul need to be tweaked to the proper frequency. if my thumb is stuck in some dam that holds back the end to this drought.



how appropriate. coming out of my speakers right at this moment:

i'm so tired of living for the kind of love that only lasts for a while... so i fall on my knees to get back on my feet again and i cry out for you, would you please speak to me?

- ten shekel shirt

the moon was full and large and a nice shade of yellow/orange last night.

but the wind by my apartment still has alot of winter sting left to it... so i couldn't stare for too long.



i saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind last week. i'd been waiting to see it for a while, since i saw the previews earlier this year... it was well worth it. best movie i've seen all year... 5 robotic thumbs up.

pet peeve no. 3482: littering



people, please... how difficult is it to hold onto your trash until you pass a proper recepticle? the subway floor is not a proper recepticle. and if you're going to immediately toss the flier onto the sidewalk, don't take it in the first place.



i'm not an environmentalist. when it comes to politics, those issues are on the bottom of my list. but it's just completely inconsiderate to litter and it annoys me.



on the way to the office this morning, i saw a woman and her 7-year-old-ish daughter waiting to cross the street. they wore similar (faux) fur-lined coats and held matching umbrellas. i quickly crossed the street, but caught a glimpse of the mother dropping a half-crumpled solicitation flier and the daughter's head following its path into the gutter. neither of them said anything. it made me wonder if, at that exact moment, the little girl learned that it was okay to litter. it made me a little sad.



but now i'm at work... and that makes me sadder.



hahah.

i wish i could take a week-long vacation every week.

haha...

okay... fine... once a month would be nice.



i laughed alot last week. it felt good. that was a vacation in and of itself.

beach frolick

after five, full days on the Grand Bahama Island (and one looong day of traveling) i'm back in (cold) nyc.



the weather was a bit cloudy for most of our stay, but we still managed to have a blast. i limboed my way into minor fame (a woman on the beach shuttle recognized me from the previous night's limbo contest)... and i had the best time playing spades, over-stuffing my stomach with lobster tails, almost dying while cruising in the un-safest looking buggy ever, anagramming words, trying to play the piano, dancing on stage and nearly burning my booty and just chillaxing the time away...



check it out

t-minus 7 hours...



i hope i don't get skin cancer.

three more days until...

bowm chica bowm boooowm.....



i'm doubly psyched because it's friday... and every friday is Good in my book.



i wonder if they make swim trunks that'll make me look 10 lbs. lighter...

a "wonder-speedo"... hahah.



my room is looking mighty clean... i need to put up a couple kozyndan posters that i got when i met them... i'm gonna frame them and everything. here's my favorite:

snow?

snow?!?

of course, i put away all my winter apparel last weekend... perfect timing, eh?

and of course, i also chopped off my afro-esque hair last weekend. now my ears and the nape of my neck get cold when even a subtle breeze passes by.



yes, my hair is short again... i know my college friends will be happy. i don't know what they had against all my long haird-dos. i only cut it so i wouldn't get a hair tan-line (like i did in bermuda). gross, i know.



T-minus 6 days...

i've added a new song to the "radio"

(over there --------->)



i don't know if badly drawn boy is "born again" in the spiritual/christian sense... but i like the lyrics nonetheless.



T-minus 10 days 'til the warm carribbean sea surrounds me.



for breakfast i ate sour patch kids and water. at least it's a fat-free meal.

one of my friends thinks i should audition for the apprentice 2. i've missed the deadline for video submissions... but they have an open casting call in the city next week... should i?



it got me thinking about other career possibilities... radio dj... mtv vj... voice-over actor (on like commercials, cartoons or imported anime)... professional poker player... carpenter/craftsman... t-shirt designer...



sigh... the grass really is greener in california, right?

slowest week ever.

i love the warmth of my bed. i wonder if sleeping on your back too much makes your butt flat. my booty isn't as rotund as it used to be. what's up with that? how come my love handles don't go away too?



bahamas in 12 days. at this rate, the wait will feel twice as long.



only asian people think poop is cute.

what's with the weather? the march snow makes me want to go back into hibernation...



i pretty much hung out in jersey city all weekend:

friday night "tupperware"/dinner/birthday party with some college friends. they live-- as my roommates like to put it-- on the other side of the tracks... but i like their place. it has much more character than my stale, overstuffed apartment. they made the best tonkatsu i've ever had.



i spent saturday sleeping in and sanitizing my bathroom. i'm not sure which one of my roommates is the culprit, but someone has some serious shedding issues... i'm talking about full-body shedding.



saturday night was a potluck dinner with some remnanites. only among church-people can board games be so intense.

i'm addicted to diet cola and naruto.

i haven't had any caffeine all day and i think my body's about to shut down.



and naruto... i can watch that all day.





i can't wait 'til i'm sunbathing in the warm carribbean sun...

i just flew in from vegas and, boy, are my arms tired... ba-dum ching!

i love poker, but i realize i'm not as good as i thought... haha... i played very stupidly most of the weekend, but i learned alot. more than that, it was good to see a couple of my cali friends. the west coast is calling loudly...



my de-hibernation is almost complete... the weather is starting to warm up... i'm being a little bit more social... and elliott smith is getting less and less airplay on my ipod.



the street vendor on the next block makes some tasty chicken over rice, but it sure makes me sleepy.

one of my good friends brought be back a toy from asia.

Hidamari No Tami (meaning "sunny people") is a solar-powered "desk accessory" that adorns my workspace here.



(mine's a different model and green)

the flourescent lighting in my office is not strong enough to keep it's head perpetually rocking side to side, so i have to watch this little guy struggle and randomly "twitch" it's neck. when i stare at it long enough, i could swear its smile is straightening out.

To be, or not to be... that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles - and by opposing them end them?

To die... To sleep... no more...

And by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to...

Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished!  



To die...   To sleep...

To sleep?  Perchance to dream!

Ay there's the rub!  For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause...



There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, the oppressors wrong, the proud man's contumely?

The pangs of despised love, the law's delay?

The insolence of office,

And the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make - with a bare bodkin?



Who would fardels bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns,

Puzzles the will, and makes us bear those ills we have,

Than fly to others we known not of?



Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all,

And thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;

And enterprises of great pith and moment,

With this regard, their currents turn awry

And lose the name of action.



- Hamlet

someone recently asked me if i was a sad person-- to which i replied, "i don't believe i'm unusually sad these days."

she asked, "what makes you sad?"

i responded, "i become sad when i acknowledge the absence of joy* in my life."

if i think about it, i suppose that does make me a sad* person.



*by "joy" i mean lowercase-j-o-y, not J-o-y. i lack joy on a surface level, therefore i'm only superficially sad. am i making sense?

my weekend in a nutshell...

sleeping in + spanish food (delivery) + food coma + FLCL (entire series) = valentine's day





sleeping in + church + dinner w/ long-time-no-see friend + sean lennon sighting + brisk, post-dinner walk + the practice = sunday





sleeping in + mall food court lunch + my tutor friend (korean movie) + meeting up with tacomans in new york + cafe lalo + lounging in the upper west side + ice cream = president's day

when i was in high school, my church put on a musical... i hardly remember what it was about... it involved riding on a bus... playing on the beach... a girl that felt left out... stereotypical coming-of-age stuff... though i hardly remember the plot, i have a hard time forgetting some of the songs...

what is it about me that's different from the rest? what is it about me? i've tried and tried my best... to figure out what's really wrong... why it is i don't belong... why they are the way they are to me... if only for a moment, i could be one of them...

really cheezy stuff, i know. why is it that i'm up at 2am and recalling these lyrics?



it's not that i feel lonely... or that i don't have friends (i have friends! hahah)... i just feel awkward here (geographically, temporally, philosophically). the people i talk to seem to want different things from life... from love... they look at a picture and see one thing; i look at it and hear a sappy, church-musical song. i realize that i'm the minority...i'm the solitary one in the bottom-right corner dancing to a different beat (one of these things is not like the others...). the funny thing is, it's so easy to jump into the neighboring box. i can fake my way through this song. it's easier to mouth their lyrics than to write my own.

how long to sing this song?

how long to sing this song?

how long?

how long?

how long?

how long to sing this song?

i need a snowboarding partner.

i don't ask for much... just a little enthusiasm for the sport... a little conversation on the lift... that's it.



i need to spend some time out in nature. i need to breath some crisp, fresh air. i need to get away...



maybe i'll just go by myself. i'll make it a personal retreat.

Your fullness is mine, Revelation divine

But oh to taste, To know much more than a page

To feel Your embrace...



For dark is light to You

The Depths are height to You

Far is near, But Lord I need to hear from You



Be near, O God

Be near, O God of us

Your nearness is to us our good...

... my good.



("be near" by shane barnard)

i'm seriously tempted to get that hat...

in fact, temptation surrounds me... i received a postcard the other day informing me that the barney's warehouse sale starts soon... what kind of timing is that?



i'm also resolving to clean my room... it's a monumental task... trust me on that. i think i'll start selling off some books and cds on ebay too.... i need the space.

resolved: i will not make any personal purchases until march 22, 2004. that means no sneakers, no dvds, no clothes, no books. nothing. i reserve the right to buy one (1) pair of swimming trunks, however, for my trip to the bahamas... but other than that... i'm withdrawing myself from modern american consumerism for a while... and i still have to buy my brother's birthday present-- but that's not a "personal" purchase, so it's exempt from my rule.



why? in a little over a month (since the new year) i've bought 2 jackets, 3 pairs of sneakers (exchanged one), 5 dvds (two were with a gift certificate), 2 books, a bag, a pair of gloves...



oh shoot. i just remembered that i wanted to get an electronic bible for my "pocketmac"... and a pickup system for my guitar... and this cool hat:





GAHHHH, what have i done?!?

does anybody else remember the movie time bandits from when we were kids? it's about some kid that joins a band of time-traveling little people. i'm debating whether or not to buy the dvd... for nostalgia's sake. [although, i did this a couple years ago with the neverending story dvd-- which turned out to be so horribly cheezy.] they made a criterion collection version of time bandits though-- which means it can't be too bad. other films that received this treatment include some of my favorites: in the mood for love, rushmore, royal tenenbaums...



i've also been itching to buy leon: the professional (which i've never seen).

it's february already.

another year without a valentine... *sniff* *sniff*

hahah...



i should organize an anti-valentine party... round up all the single people and watch some non-romantic movie and eat bitter/sour foods. it's hard to think of a movie without any kind of love in it though...



anyone want to come to my kill bill and grapefruit party?

i've eaten a salad for lunch everyday this week. i'm trying to eat healthier to compensate for my gross lack of exercise this winter. i wouldn't mind shedding a few pounds either. in addition, i've implemented a fairly regular "regiment" of sit-ups and push-ups to keep my muscles from atrophying. too bad i can only do about 50 and 20 before i get tired.



oh, how the mighty have fallen...

hahah.

public service announcement:



asian people-- okay... maybe it's just the guys-- asian guys!... please please please... stop auditioning on american idol.



thank you.



(p.s. i'm not racist. i'm just a little emotional right now.)

i've been falling asleep pretty late these days.

a couple of weeks ago, i was channel surfing in bed and the late night version of oprah was on. the show was all about life-changing (in a good way) moments... 80-million-dollar lottery winner... a woman who was "discovered" as an audience member of the show, got a high-profile job and then married a billionaire... a divorcee that decided to make a living taking pictures of her dog and the success that ensued... people were crying and laughing and hugging...



i found myself getting wrapped up in that get-rich-quick notion. sometimes i wish for it... sometimes i even think i deserve it. i can't tell if that's arrogance, laziness or both.

when it comes to affection, i'm the opposite of desensitized. i don't want to say i'm sensitive because that has a completely different connotation. is sensitism a word?



i get various degrees of uncomfortable when people touch me-- i'm talking about little things like people pinching my cheeks or linking their arm around mine. i'm also bad at giving compliments... i have to think hard about what to say, to avoid being cliched/cheezy... phrases like, "this means alot to me" and "you're so sweet/cute/awesome/etc" don't roll off my tongue.



and when i sing the words "i can't stop falling in love with you... i'll never stop falling in love with you", it really moves me.

Better Than Life

by Marty Sampson



Better than the riches of this world

Better than the sound of my friends' voices

Better than the biggest dreams of my heart

And that's just the start...



Better than getting what I say I need

Better than living the life that I want to

Better than the love that anyone could give

Your Love is...



You hold me now in Your arms and never let me go

You oh Lord make the sun shine

And the moon light in the night sky

You give me breath and all your love

I give my heart to you because...



I can't stop falling in love with you

I'll never stop falling in love with you

i need to clean.

clean my office... there's a rumor that one of our artists (not one of the young bubblegum, hot-on-the-charts pop stars-- but one of the older, reissue-the-greatest-hits folks) might stop by the office. and since i have the only lightbox on our floor, they may need to come in to look at some artwork.



clean my room... i'm having a hard time taming the papers and sweaters that are dripping off my desk and dresser. no one ever visits me at home anyways... so it's not as priority, i suppose.

i'm not a big fan of the real world... or of mtv in general...

but, man, that jamie girl is cute.

she's the korean american chica on the cast of the real world san diego.



she looks better on the show... fo shizzle.

according to this website the following is a list of the most stressful US cities to live in:

1. Tacoma, WA

2. Miami, FL

3. New Orleans, LA

4. Las Vegas, NV

5. New York, NY

6. Portland-Vancouver, OR-WA

7. Mobile, AL

8. Stockton-Lodi, CA

9. Detroit, MI

10. Dallas, TX

and these are the low-stress cities:

1. Albany-Schenectady, NY

2. Harrisburg-Lebanon-Carlisle, PA

3. Orange County, CA

4. Nassau-Suffolk, NY

5. Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN-WI

6. Ann Arbor, MI

7. Omaha, NE-IA

8. Norfolk, VA-Virginia Beach, VA-NC

9. Honolulu, HI

10. Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill, NC

so i'm from the most stressful city and live in the 5th most stressful city... and you wonder why i want to move to southern california (low-stress #3) or hawaii (#9)!

so my brother gave me his old PDA because he got a new one... i spent the better part of yesterday installing free games... and what better place to play those games than on the toilet...



so i'm sitting there, elbows on knees, tapping away at this mini-machine. i get so wrapped up in the game that i lose track of time... i probably didn't even have to wipe (because it had probably air-dried). unbeknownst to me, while i was happily enjoying my alone time, my right leg proceeded to numb itself up. by the time i realized that my brain had retained only minimal control of this limb, i'd already stood and turned to flush and leave the room... thereby shifting my weight onto an ankle that didn't get the message in time. anyways, to make a short story less long: i twisted the crap out of my ankle last night.



man, i ramble alot.

it's over...

... i'm back to the in-n-out-less, mexican-food-challenged, congested, smelly streets of nyc.

and in a few hours i'll have to re-insert myself into its working masses... and be an "adult" again.



i'll try not to be too cynical about it.

i guess i should try to get some sleep and literally catch up to the rest of new york.